


A Wildness here nor there

by Webtrinsic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Ahsoka Tano-centric, Ahsoka saves the galaxy, Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, BAMF Ahsoka Tano, F/M, Force Ghost(s), Fulcrum, Padme Lives, Protective Ahsoka Tano, Quote: The Force works in mysterious ways, Screw Destiny, Sith Artifact, her eyes change color cause sith artifact which explains the weird change in rebels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26496724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Webtrinsic/pseuds/Webtrinsic
Summary: The force doesn't allow her to come back even when Barriss is revealed as the bomber. Instead she follows the force in the direction of a Sith temple, where an artifact shows her what must be done not only to save her master, but the galaxy itself.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 105





	A Wildness here nor there

**Author's Note:**

> meh i don't like this one much cause it didn't turn out how i wanted it but i wrote it so I'm posting it lol

The force has never been this loud before, it digs into her skin and pricks tears in her eyes whilst it echoes in her montrals and drips down her lekku. It’s swallowing her whole, not detaching her bond with her master but locking it in a box. Ahsoka hopes he doesn’t take it as her abandoning him, she never would of her own volition, but she is assured by the surge of his presence that he knows what is happening isn’t her doing.

Anakin grappled with the force, practically screaming, “Give her back to me,” it is the force itself, working in it’s mysterious way, tearing his padawan away after she was forced to jump into the lower levels of Coruscant for a crime she didn’t commit. 

They catch Barriss and still she doesn’t return, the force doesn’t allow it and she tries to fight with little success. Her and her master scream that their separation, _her exile_ is wrong even when the force wills that this is the way.

* * *

The togruta is locked in a battle that has left her numb, exhausted and helpless as she batted her hands at the force, trying and failing to resist the omnipotent presence constantly surrounding her.  Harassing her and caging her within binds she didn’t have the strength to break. She follows as it guides, all the way off planet with some smugglers who kindly drop her off on Mandalore after she liberates them from their debts by defeating their employer in combat.

She is still clueless as to why she is on this planet and the least bit worried that maybe her presence will be found out by someone here who will inform the Jedi. They don’t, in fact Bo-Katan is just as distrustful of the Jedi as everyone else, Ahsoka often wonders how she’d been so blind to that distrust while in the order.

Then again, bloodied bodies and cries of war often got in the way of that. Politics as well. War and politics, a cumbersome blinding headache, an illness she could never escape, even now. 

They give her armor, it’s slightly darker than the blue decorating her head but it was just as complementary to her features. In fact, the only thing that didn’t match her new look was the color of her sabers.  There was nothing she could do about that now, not as a transmission came in, and it was for her. Bail Organa smiled at the ex-Jedi, and Ahsoka knew then whatever this meeting was, it was what the force wanted for her, what she wanted for herself.

At that moment Fulcrum was born.

* * *

It’s a devastatingly ironic, mockingly perplexing event that leads her to a sith temple. It's shrouding darkness is a physical burden. Ahsoka has half a mind to tear her tangerine skin clean off. It’d actually be an upgrade from the raw scratchy feeling she continued to pet over with her wiry fingers.

Phantoms of the past watch her, hissing and scratching at her. There’s a second she even feels her back lekku tugged. It isn’t enough for her to lose her footing, but there’s small slashes where nails once resided.  They taunt her until she finds the artifact she was looking for. Ahsoka knew the risk, knew what would happen the second she wrapped her hand around the obsidian carving of an hourglass shape.

The sith ghost go quiet then, watching with genuine intrigue as she reaches out, her fingers close enough to graze the object. There’s a hand on her shoulder, whether it's trying to urge her forward or away, she takes it as a comfort for only a second before she wraps her hand around the object and lives the life the Sith intended for the galaxy to.

* * *

“I’m sorry Master but I’m not coming back,” she closes her master’s hands around her beads, dismayed that this is the goodbye she’d gotten. It wasn’t the goodbye she’d imagined and or ever wanted, but it’d have to do.

* * *

She relearns a lesson she’d already learned, the people don’t trust Jedi and neither should she.

* * *

Ahsoka takes to the name Fulcrum once again, responds to it readily because it is who she was now in her core. It is the same when she is presented with navy armor she’d already become accustomed to.

* * *

The artifact works further and she forgets everything before because there is nothing to remind her. 

The painted helmets and siege are a huge part of that. She is fully immersed in this life when she feels her master disconnect in a way she isn’t sure means he dies. She stands among corpses and life goes on but she is not living.

It’s several decades, it’s a revelation of the dead not only walking but raging that knocks her off her feet. It’s a promise she can’t keep and the defeated mindset that she can’t save her master that breaks her heart.

More years pass and Ahsoka is draped in white when she looks into the sky and feels the return of Anakin Skywalker and then his subsequent passing. The Jedi return in the form of a son who does not need her guidance so she moves on elsewhere, wanting to be useful, and luckily a very small little green alien and a rare Mandalorian give her something to do.

Then, a time later, she dies.

* * *

When her eyes open again they are not their usual blue, not that she can tell. They’re darker and with a touch more...purple? The ghost around her watch and look her over but she ignores it. Screams stuck in her throat from the lifetime she’d lived and could potentially repeat if she didn’t do something soon.

The force is purring it's apologies in her head, thanking her for her sacrifice because it knew she’d suffer and likely would never be the same again. When Ahsoka didn’t come back to the temple even after she’d been cleared she thought it was for herself, and in the end it was but it was also for Anakin, more than it ever had been.

A Sith ghost basking in the stench of loyalty looked at her impressed. Some of them she picked up on their transgression easily and bowed in respect. They too had been shamed for love, unlike her she didn’t turn angry, she left because in the end who said she couldn’t act out the will of the force without the label of Jedi or Sith?

The specter pointed to her sabers and she lit them in turn, the white a welcoming sign of her and what could have been and what had been, at least to her. Blue might have matched her look as well, but it didn’t match her soul, not in the way the white did.

Activating her comm, the togruta radioed Bail who gave the slightest flinch at the sight of her eyes but otherwise looked upon her as if she held the secrets to the universe. She did.

“We’ll need to go to Kamino, the clone’s inhibitor chips need to be shut down now,” there’s surprise and the slightest bit of question in his eyes but there is also trust, unwavering trust as he’s immediately ordering for a shuttle.

“I feel as if you have more to do, I’ll handle the inhibitor chips, let the Jedi know what’s happening,” He responds gracefully, and she is not afraid of Jedi interference because Bail will never refer to her as anything more than Fulcrum.

“Thank you Ahsoka,” the call ends.

“Thank you,” she whispers, she doesn’t know if she should ask Maul to accompany her to kill the chancellor or if she should visit Padme first. Anakin was more likely to believe her than anyone else, or he might just get angrier.

Her death had been the saving of him after he’d been burned to ash. If that didn’t happen she wouldn’t die and maybe then he would see that. Understand he’d been lied too, maybe he would see her eyes and believe her, maybe she’d have to push their bond and show him a mere fraction of her suffering.

She start's then and there, by lifting the limp bond in her hands and smoothing it over, it ignites into a soft glow and the sharp tug of her master on the other end brings tears to her eyes. The man on the other end is not the man who was certain he would kill her, the man is the one who raised her and loved her because he was her older brother who wanted nothing more than for her to be safely at his side. 

The twine she adds is as sharp as barbed wire, he latches on regardless even when it pains him to do so. Comfort is being pushed onto her like a tidal wave, and she gives him her love and the grief of losing him.

He takes it as her referring to when the force tore them apart, later though he’ll understand. 

* * *

The togruta didn’t even make it to Naboo before the force rippled, a broadcast screamed at the galaxy. The chancellor had been found out and their newly refurbished bond burned with her master’s rage. 

She forced herself to turn the ship off, leaving her floating in the abyss. She couldn’t pilot, not while she tapped in closer, his shields bare and she took full advantage of that. Standing guard and warding off the darkside, it chipped at her resolve, enough to the point tears slipped down her face as she floated in space.

“Good luck,” she called out, and Anakin Skywalker went to war with the darkness an arm lengths away.

* * *

Ahsoka held both her niece and nephew, they’d been endlessly crying but seemingly stopped the minute she embraced them. Anakin was still with the healers, trapped in a bacta tank having missed the birth of his children while healing.

Padme had been upset but more than glad to have Ahsoka there, it’d been a welcome surprise and the togruta, even though she knew the woman would be fine, kept pushing both healing energy and comfort throughout the force throughout the births to ensure the woman's safety.

Obi-Wan had left at the sight of her, which was fine for Ahsoka because she wasn’t quite ready to see him. He’d survived and he hadn’t even told her. Maybe it was dumb to be mad at him for something that hadn’t truly happened, but he was still the embodiment of the Jedi that led to Anakin’s downfall.  Maybe she was being overprotective, especially with her new niece and nephew in the picture, but she didn't care. 

* * *

When Anakin woke the rank of master was his. A nearly obsolete fact when compared to his wife’s successful birth. 

* * *

The chosen one rushed into the palace, a breath of relief slipping through his clenched teeth when he caught sight of Padme blissfully asleep. And the kids, well, all three were there, Ahsoka sitting nearby their cribs, standing guard like she did him in battle.

“I can already feel Leia is just like you, but mini Skyguy seems to take more after Padme. At least in personality, in looks it’s the opposite,” her tone is light as he came closer, falling to his knees before the three and shedding tears quicker than Obi-Wan shed his robes before a fight.

“You’re different,” Anakin notes, taking the closest baby, Luke, into his arms. He’d have latched onto Ahsoka if he could but she seemed a little too aloof for sudden contact.

“I know,” she admits, and he nudged at their bond gently asking for an explanation, and she gives it by willing the image of the artifact in her head.  He seems to recognize it because he bites his lip and looks back down at the child on his arms to calm down.

“Was it really that horrible?” the way he looked into her eyes with a frazzled familiarity drove her to answer in a simple saying that wouldn't send her toppling over the edge.

“It’s better now,” for him and maybe for her when she learned how to live with what she’d seen. She wasn’t the same girl she’d been before, wasn’t a Jedi, and she was no longer snips but she could be again.

Someday Darth Vader would be nothing more than a bad dream, but she'd always be Fulcrum. 

**Author's Note:**

> Snap: allisonw1122  
> Tumblr/twitter: webtrinsic1122  
> Insta:Webtrinsic


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